What If...

I'm feeling a little down today.

Do you mind if I tell you why?

First, maybe I should put a disclaimer out there so as not to offend anyone who may read this.

This is one of those topics that I don't usually write about. I mostly blog about family and events that are happening in our lives. I like keeping a record with my future grandchildren in mind. When I am long gone, I want them to have a small glimpse of what life was like for me, what I thought and felt.

Political, opinionated and judgmental, I don't want to be.

That said, once in a while it is our obligation to be bold in speaking about right and wrong.

Sometimes you just feel compelled to stand up and say it, with the hope that those who hear you will understand without offense and will not label you as self righteous.

Lately, something has been bothering me like a sliver in a finger. No, make that a deeply embedded shard of glass that has been festering a few days.

I am sad for the little people in this country of ours.

I am troubled about the way many of them are being disregarded by the very people who love them the most.... their parents.

I was in the grocery store check out line recently, when I noticed some magazine headlines.

There they were in big, bold, commanding letters:

"SEPARATED"

"SPLIT"

"OVER"

Pictures of the beautiful, the famous and the reality show claim-to-famers accompanied those words.

One cover was a photo of an angry mother lashing out at her former husband. You could see the fury in her eyes and in the lines on her face.

The next magazine on the rack featured the husband. His furrowed brow frozen in time. An invitation next to his picture invited you inside the pages of the magazine to read about how much he despises his former wife.

I wondered about the eight little souls behind those ugly words.

How heartbreaking.

How tragic.

It made me want to cry.

Too many families are getting it all wrong.

Whatever happened to falling in love, getting married, having a family, and then sticking it out through thick and thin---

in that exact order.

It's not just celebrities. Good people, no make that great people are allowing themselves to be deceived into thinking that the process of shattering a family will somehow lead to happiness. Some of those are people near and dear to me. Mothers and Fathers bitterly divided, leaving

anguish-filled children in their wake.

Of course there are times when divorce is the only option such as physical, verbal or emotional maltreatment. I am the first one to raise my hand in support of getting out of those types of situations. But generally speaking, there is too much "me" and not nearly enough "we" going on in our marriages.

Marriage isn't easy all the time.

There are times of frustration and disagreement, even disappointment.

It takes effort, tender care and perhaps most importantly- commitment to making it work.

President Hinckley reminded us many times that "The greatest factor in a happy marriage is anxious concern for the comfort and well being of one's companion. In most cases, selfishness is the leading factor that causes argument, separation, divorce and broken hearts."

What if starting today, every single husband and wife became eagerly and anxiously concerned for the well being of their spouse?

What if we were so busy trying to improve ourselves that we didn't have any time left to be critical of our husbands or wives?

What if selfishness became extinct?

How different things would be.

How joyful life would be for the littlest, most innocent among us.

Maybe when our children and grandchildren are all grown up and standing in line at the grocery store the headlines might say:

Unity Abounds!

Couple Celebrates 50 Happy Years!

Security, Safety and Love Fills Homes Everywhere

That's the kind of world I want for them, I'm sure you do too.

If you are feeling conflict in your marriage, will you consider the "what if" questions above?

If someone you care about is thinking of calling it quits, will you do everything you can to help keep a family together?

It's time to stand up in defense of families. Our kids deserve that much.

I have probably said more than enough.

Just wanted to go on the record, you know, for the sake of posterity.

Thanks for reading.