God Bless Mothers Everywhere

Today I am feeling grateful.
Gratitude was not what I expected today.

In fact if someone would have told me
last night when I fell asleep, that being awakened at
1:21, 2:56, 3:30 and finally around 5:00 a.m. would have made my heart swell with thanks,
I would have called that person crazy.

It started yesterday morning.
Samantha woke up coughing.
My intuition recognized that deep, constant, unusually raspy sound.
The kind of cough that makes the hairs on your motherly neck stand up.
Wheezing, fever and red cheeks appeared by lunchtime.

No interest in playing or eating and not a hint of getting into any trouble.
The house stayed clean the entire day.
No drawers were explored, closets stayed closed, no toys were strewn about, no new fingerprints on the windows, no sneaking into my makeup and not one bed in the house was bounced on.

Around 4:00 the doctor confirmed my fears, pneumonia.
That stomach-pit, rapid heartbeat, squeeze-around-the-throat feeling settled over me.
He assured me that she is not sick enough to be hospitalized but that anytime a two year old gets pneumonia, it is a serious concern.

Listening to my baby wheezing and laboring to breathe was wearing me out with worry.
I filled her prescriptions, calmly walked out of the store, got into my car,
put my head on the steering wheel and cried.
As I sat there sobbing, I looked in the rearview mirror.  There was Samantha buckled into her car seat, her big glossy eyes peeking back at me.

In my mind's eye, I could see other mothers in other places.
Places where there are no doctors or medicine. Places where earthquakes or wars or famine have taken homes, villages and lives.  I thought about what it must feel like to look at your child, their big, glossy eyes looking back at you, and feeling helpless.  My heart ached for those mothers.

We got home and I filled the bath tub with warm, soapy water.  I filled a large cup and let the warm water run down her back over and over.  I thought about mothers who had no water to give a thirsty child or bathe a soiled baby.

We gave Samantha her medicine and some chicken soup.  I thought about moms whose children needed medicine or food and there wasn't any.  What would that feel like to hold a sick and hungry child and not have the resources to help?

I sat by the fire and cradled her in my arms.  I thought about moms who didn't have warmth or protection from the weather.  Moms who are sleeping in tent cities or worse.

As we tucked Sami in, I knelt by her bed and said a prayer of thanks.
Thanks for doctors and medicine, a warm home and plenty to eat and drink.
I said that same prayer at 1:21, 2:56, 3:30 and somewhere around 5:00 a.m.

God bless mothers everywhere.

PS For more information on  helping The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
 with their relief effort in Haiti, click here.

14 Days of Love

The problem:
Winter blues,
Your husband leaves for work when it's dark and returns when it's dark,
Your life is so filled up with places to be, that last Tuesday you were supposed to be three places at once,
You haven't felt sexy since the late 1990's.
Your marriage could use a little romance.

The solution?
14 fabulous days of kindness, sweetness, thoughtfulness and love.
A.K.A. 14 Days of Valentines.

Directions:
Plan out 14 surprises for your sweetheart.  Start on February 1 and give him one each day until Valentines Day.  They don't have to be fancy, they don't even have to cost money, they just have to be heartfelt.

100% Satisfaction Guaranteed!
You will feel like newlyweds!
He will know how much you love, appreciate and adore him.
And hey, if he becomes putty in your hands, so be it.

 Use some of my ideas, consult this expert, or make up your own!

2010 Plan:

February 1      I am one lucky girl!  For this day, I print out a picture of us on our wedding day.  I tape the picture, red and pink hearts and a love letter on the bathroom mirror.

February 2     Mark is always at church on Tuesdays nights, so when he gets home I will be waiting with two chocolate strawberries, two pieces of chocolate cake and two glasses of ice water. Then I will rub his two tired feet.

February 3     Thank you for giving me three great kids.  Pictures and love notes from the twins and Sami.

February 4     This one is private.... sorry.

February 5     Five things we'll need for a fun date.  Movie card, dinner card, popcorn coupon and two boxes of candy.

February 6     Six sticky love notes to find.  (One in his wallet, on his toothbrush, etc.)

February 7     Seven slices of pie for a Sunday night treat.  (February is usually Marie Callendars
 pie sale) I will pick up a pie on Saturday for a Sunday night treat.

February 8     Special Family Home Evening.  We will give a lesson about eight reasons we are grateful for our husband and dad.  Also, just from me- a note on his pillow for eight kisses, 3 of the chocolate kind and 5 of the lip kind.

February 9     A playlist with nine of our favorite love songs loaded on his ipod.

February 10   Mark has church on Wednesdays too.  When he gets home,  my ten fingers will give him a back rub.  You can get some good oil at Bath & Body Works and use the playlist from yesterday for a little romantic mood setting.

February 11     This day, we are heading out of town for a baseball tournament so I will put together a basket of eleven of Mark's favorite snacks and treats for the road.

February 12    A dozen of my favorite memories.  I will do this blog-style.

February 13     Thirteen things I love about you poster.

February 14     Since we will be in a small hotel room with three additions to the party, we will have to postpone the real celebration.  I will give him an invite detailing our evening of romance.  It will include a gift card for dinner out and dessert in.

Now that you have a few ideas to inspire you, get to planning!
The dollar store and $ bins at Target are great places for stickers, candles, cards, ribbons, bags, doilies and candy.

Don't let this opportunity get by you.
I promise that you'll have fun and in the process, you will make your best friend and favorite person ever feel like a million bucks.

Happy Valentining!

Summer, oh Summer

Summer, oh summer....
Where did you go?

You left me alone here in nothing but snow.

I mourn for you, Summer...
I miss your long days,
when sunshine is plenty, and there is no haze.

Popsicles and pool splashes,
boating and naps.

Cook outs with cousins,
flags, sparklers and snaps.

Tan lines on feet and sunscreen on noses,
Freckles on cheeks, and polish on toes-ez.

Parades and blues skies,
lemonade and moon-lit walks,
Pink sunrise runs,
and 2:00 am talks.

Baseball games,
flowers,
green grass,
and sandals.
Dates with cute husband complete with chocolate and candles.

Water fights and concerts in the park.
White clouds in the day, bright stars in the dark.

Summer, come back here!
I can't wait until June.
My skin is pale white, like a shade of the moon.

I'm choking in smog,
my feet are all frozen,
They sky is too gray,
I hate runny noses.

I know you'll return, on your clock - not mine.
Until that day comes, pardon me if I whine.

Twelve Years, Twelve Things I've Learned

Twelve years ago today, two little sweethearts twinkled down from heaven and took over my heart and soul.

Seeing them for the first time was like coming face to face with my true purpose.  I was a happy person before they came along, but they brought a depth and measure to my life that I had not yet experienced.

I think it was a blessing in disguise that we had to wait five long years for them.  Those were the hardest years of my life.  The sadness and heartache of thinking that I might never be a mother was beyond difficult.  But there is something about waiting for the desire of your heart that makes you so overwhelmingly grateful.  I can honestly say that I still have not come down off the thrill of having Lincoln and Rachel.

They are my joys and I love them with everything in me.

To celebrate 12 years, I would like to share 12 things they have taught me:

1.  Babies are like chocolate cake, they don't last long.  Tiny toes and fuzzy heads are only temporary.  You have to savor and enjoy every tired moment.

2. God made two year olds everywhere adorably cute.  He did this to compensate their parents for things like tantrums, potty training rebellion and their tornado like capabilities.

3.  Three is a milestone. They are big enough to send off to preschool.  Remember that it is absolutely allowed to camp out in the parking lot and peek in windows for the first month or so.

4. Four is the information age.  They ask SO many questions and they memorize everything they see and hear.  If you happen to be a Toby Keith fan, try to edit out the phrases like,
"We'll put a boot in your _ _ _, it's the American way".  Otherwise, your four year old may sing this patriotic line at church.  This can be especially troublesome if your husband happens to be the Bishop...

5.  Kindergarten.  This can be very emotional for moms.  Holding hands as you walk through the doors of that great big school, trying to hide the tears that keep sneaking down your cheeks, wishing they weren't so excited to say goodbye to you.  If you get lucky, I mean really, really lucky, their teacher may be a Mrs. Richards Type.  That means she will greet you wearing a back-to-school jumper with the alphabet embroidered on it.  You will be able to tell from the first moment that she is absolutely amazing.

6.  Six is a year of fun.  They know how to ride a bike and swim well.  Reading chapter books opens up a whole new world that they can disappear into.  They are able to do chores independently and they can start piano lessons.

7.  A circle of close friends start to come into the picture around age seven.  Your house will often be full of the sound of kids playing.  They will do things like put on plays, organize carnivals and build lego masterpieces.  Some of these friendships may end up lasting a lifetime.

8.  Eight is great.  Baptism is one of the most sweet and precious experiences you get.  Heaven is close and angels are near.

9.  If you have not already done so by nine, this is a great age to give them a little sister. (a brother would work well too)  Watching the gentle way they nurture and care for the new little one will make your heart swell.  There is no other love quite like this kind.

10.  By age ten they are firmly set in the things they enjoy doing.  You will spend hours and hours and dollars and dollars on things like baseball and ballet.  The first time your son smacks one to win the game or your daughter twirls on pointe shoes, you will know that every single hour and every single dollar was well spent.

11.  They are growing up.  This is the year when you start to see the first little fruits of all the things you have tried to do.  All those years of scripture reading is starting to pay off when you realize that they know the scriptures and understand them.  This is also the year when they start to confide in you about the fact that boys (or girls) no longer have cooties and germs. You can have long talks about everything.  Some of these discussions will be about alcohol, drugs, language, modesty and sexual relationships.  It is exciting to see the people they are becoming.

12.  This is the age where the things I've learned turn into the things I don't know anything about. 

But isn't that part of raising kids?  We just do the best we can.  Sometimes we fall short, we make mistakes, we wish we could have a re-do now and then.  Our kids forgive us, we learn to celebrate the good things we've done and then we move on to whatever is next.  Life keeps going and getting sweeter with each passing year. 

And hey, by the time we have grandkids, we'll have it all figured out.

Happy Birthday to my Twins!

I love you.

Understanding the "Why?"

Have you ever been drawn to do something unusual?
Lead, prodded, pushed, even poked ?

If you're like me, you might waste some time questioning the prompting.
Why?
How?
Is that really practical?

This is what has happened to me over the past several months.
The unusual push, prod, poke?
To learn Espanol.

I had been serving in the Spanish Ward of our stake for a year.
I had fallen in love with the people, their language, their various cultures.  I thought maybe that was why I felt so compelled to learn Spanish.
So that I could learn to communicate with my friends.  That had to be it.

I told Mark about the pushing, the prodding, the poking.
In typical supportive-Mark-fashion,  he suggested we order Rosetta Stone and get busy.

I envisioned myself showing up to Primary able to recite the Articles of Faith, understand the lesson and actually playing from the Spanish hymn book instead of the English version.

Now I understood.
Got it....

I was going to stay right there in that ward for a good, long time.
They needed me and I absolutely loved being there.
It was clear.
Wahoo!  I cheered.

You'll never guess what happened a week later.....
I got released from that assignment.

WHAT?  I asked myself.
With that surprise, I felt a little deflated.
Maybe I had just imagined the pushing, the prodding, the poking.

What would be the point of learning Spanish now?
When would I ever use it?
Why spend all that time and effort and money- Rosetta is not a cheap date!

I was a bit confused.
I assumed the pushing, prodding, poking would stop.
I waited for it to disappear but guess what?  It didn't.  In fact, it has only gotten stronger.

I am supposed to learn Spanish.
Why?  I don't know.

But maybe the "why" isn't really important.
Sometimes, part of growing as a person is following those feelings without so many questions.
Just trusting and doing instead of questioning and procrastinating.

So I have begun the long and steady journey of learning a new language.
It's not easy.
I am slow and awkward and I cannot roll my R's for anything.
But I am committed.

And maybe someday,  I will understand the "why".

Sure Signs

Signs that a two year old may need a little more interaction with other two year olds:


As we pull into the parking lot:
"Oh!  Hi Costco!  It's nice to see you, I missed you so much."


She carefully organizes tub toys and fridge magnets according to color.


She must wear lip gloss daily.


Asks to brush teeth and wash hands often.


Directs other family members to do the same as needed.


To dad after he served her a chocolate chip pancake:
"Thanks, Daddy!  This cer-kin-ly looks de-wish-us!"




Signs that a mom may need a little more time with other adults:


To worker in ice cream shop, "I like pink please."


She can't go more than a couple of days without craving a PB&J with fishy crackers, string cheese and chocolate milk on the side.  PS DO NOT forget the straw.



The only books read in the last several months include Fancy Nancy, Clifford the Big Red Dog
and Dr. Suess.


Excitedly points out cool freight trains and tractors when there are no children in the car.


Would love to own a sleeper with fuzzy feet in them.


Feels kind of sad when she remembers that Mickey and The Little Einsteins are not real.


She gets choked up when Elmo teaches a sweet lesson about baby sisters on Sesame Street.




Enough said.


........lunch, anyone?

The Vacation That Wasn't

This past week we were supposed to be somewhere else.
Mark had five fabulous days off work, plus two weekends.
The twins were out of school.
No piano lessons, dance or baseball practice.
Church duties were light.

And the best part?
We had buddy passes for the entire family just waiting to be used.
Oh how perfect it would have been to jump on a plane and leave the cold and snow behind.
We could hear the Florida shore line beaconing our bare feet.
We could taste Grandma's German Chocolate Cake.
We could feel the warmth of the sun gently caressing our pale faces and frostbitten fingers.

Only one snag.....
About 347,872 other people had the same idea.
We could not get a flight to Evanston, let alone a warm and sunny destination.
We checked flights to everywhere and anywhere.

Nothing.
Not a chance.
Ain't happening.

After a day or two of hoping that other folks would stop traveling, we decided to accept our sad fate.
Disappointment was evident.
We frowned and sighed and hung our heads.

Finally, Mark and I called an executive meeting.
We determined to make the best of an unfortunate setback.
We gathered the kids together and announced that we would be staying home for an amazing fun filled week, right here at home!

The twins were understanding and supportive.
We started brain storming all the possibilities before us.

Things were looking up.

And so began a week of good old fashioned togetherness.
Nothing but pure raw time on our hands.
And you know what?  It was surprisingly heaven-like.

We slept in, stayed up late. 
Played hours and hours of games.
We had the zoo to ourselves in a snowstorm.
Mark and Linc cheerfully sat through The Sound of Music then Rachie and me returned the favor when they rented Star Trek.
We scored four tickets in the Jr. Jazz section of Energy Solutions Arena.
We raced down powder filled hills on our sleds and then came home and curled up by the fireplace.
We hung out with cousins and other family.
Lincoln and Rachel inflated an air mattress and slept in the family room.
We ate too much fudge and cookies and chips.
No piano practice required.
The boys watched football and the girls worked on crafts.
We talked, we laughed, we set goals and made plans for the year to come.
Mark didn't shave one of the days and I didn't give him too hard of a time.
Everyone pitched in with the housework.
Neither of the twins even asked to play with friends.

It really was that great.
Who would have thought?

Raw time.  I could get used to this.
I hadn't realized how much of our life is filled up with places to be and things to get done.
So much busy-ness and not nearly enough unstructured, unscheduled, unorganized time.

The vacation that wasn't turned out to be the best week of the year.
I wish it could have lasted a month.
How can families carve out more time together?
That is the question I have been asking myself all day.

If anyone reading this has some good ideas, please pass them on to me.
Oh and by the way, I hear that raw time on the coast of Florida is pretty good too.