Trying to be Like Jesus

Monday night the kids and I were enjoying a nice dad-out-of-town dinner together. (aka grilled cheese sandwiches and a can of soup)

We were going over the events of the day. The twins told me about a friend of theirs. Someone they have known for many years. They talked about how this friend is changing. Angry, mean, aggressive and bad temper are the words they used to describe him.

Rachel had asked the friend what he was going to be for Halloween and he answered with a rude and sarcastic comment. Linc asked the friend why he had missed a day of school and the boy told him to shut up _____.

I listened and nodded and asked a few questions. They commented that he wouldn't have friends for long if he continued to be so angry and that they didn't really want to play with him anymore.

I started on the dishes while they left to get ready for bed.

I felt bad for their friend. I felt bad for them.

Later that evening we sat down for Family Home Evening. We decided to watch Elder Holland's April 2009 conference address. It was about last days of the Savior's life.

We listened carefully and reverently as Elder Holland took us through Jesus' Messianic arrival in Jerusalem on the Sunday before passover. There were many who wanted to follow the Savior, many who walked with Him. But in Elder Holland's words, " Eagerness to continue walking with Him would quickly begin to wane."

We sat captivated, rewinding parts here and there. We learned that from one event to another, Jesus felt more and more alone. Elder Holland taught that even the Savior's closest friends could not stay awake while He was in the garden, Peter denied knowing Him and how Jesus was betrayed by Judas Iscariot.

He talked of the unjust trial, the scourging, mocking, the humiliation and the incomprehensible agony. How in the Savior's deepest, darkest hour He felt alone as He cried out. "My God, why hast thou forsaken me?"

Elder Holland then testified that the Father had to briefly withdraw His presence from His beloved Son. This was a critical and necessary part of the atonement. Jesus had to gain a perfect knowledge of what it feels like to be completely and consummately alone so that He could better understand us. Because of this, He knows of our pains, our disappointments, our heart aches, our darkest hours. He empathizes with compassion and extends His perfect love to us.

Elder Holland concluded by reminding us that "because Jesus walked a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so" and that we can show our gratitude and humility by committing our lives to serving Him and knowing Him, trying to become like Him. In this we stand beside the Savior.

When it was over, we sat there quietly. We discussed what it means to truly follow the Savior. To stand by Him, to follow Him, to do and say the things that He would. I shared my testimony with the twins and then we knelt together to pray.

Rachel went first. Completely unprompted by me, she began to pray for her friend. She asked Heavenly Father to soften his heart so that he wouldn't be angry. She asked for help in being more kind and patient with him. Finally she asked Heavenly Father to make better whatever is happening in his life that is causing anger.

When she finished, Lincoln prayed for the same things. My heart was very full of love for them. My heart was also very full of love for the Savior of the World.

I know that He does understand us, He knows us, He can be our truest friend if we will let Him. It makes me want to do more, try harder and be better. In these types of moments, my own weaknesses are so magnified and at the same time I feel His love.

Sooooo far to go.... but today I am feeling a little bit closer.