Sunday, May 31, 2009

Duck Rescuers Inc.

Meet the duck rescuers.
This guy is the chief, aka as Grandpa.

For some reason nearly every spring for the past ten years or so, we find ourselves in the position to save baby ducks and herd them safely to the canal near our neighborhood.
We seem to have developed baby duck radar.
I don't know if we find them or they find us.
We have saved baby ducks from dogs, cats and and all kinds of terrible fates.
This week however, we moved to a new status in this job.

Mark and I got up early last Monday for a quick run.
On our way along the path, we noticed a mother duck flapping her wings and making some noise. We didn't think too much of it.

An hour or so later, my sister Jenny and I were walking with our babies when we passed mother duck again. This time, she got my attention.

We stopped and I bent down to look in the storm drain to see what was wrong.
Eight little sets of eyes peeked back up at me.
We ran home for help.
The chief and a few neighbors grabbed some tools and hurried back to the drain.

By the time they got there, the babies were gone.
They could hear little peeps from way back inside the drain, but no babies in sight.

Meanwhile, I stayed home to call a professional. They assured us that someone would come.

Tuesday morning Jenny and I were walking with our babies again. Certain that the people from the county had recused them yesterday, I almost didn't look as we passed by the drain.
As I bent down to look inside, eight little faces peered up at me, begging me to find a way to get them out of there.

It was time to take matters into our own hands.
We determined to find a way to save those ducklings.
We assembled a team and formulated a plan for rescue.
Unfortunately, by the time we got back to the drain, they were gone again.

We tried calling them. Nothing.
We tossed bread down there. Still nothing.
We were about to give up when I remembered those sweet little faces.

Before I knew it, I volunteered to go down inside the drain and have a look.
We pried the grate off and VERY reluctantly I slid down under the ground.
It was stinky, it was dark, spider webs were everywhere. My germ phobias were going nutty.

They passed me down a flashlight and there in the corner a couple of feet in, the babies were
sleeping. All eight carefully piled on top of each other.

I asked my sister to climb down with me. She did.
She carefully picked up each little feathery bundle and gently placed them in a basket.
In assembly line fashion, we passed the babies until they were safely above ground.
Our crew pulled us out of that stink. Our running shoes were ruined but the babies were safe.



Sadly, mother duck had given up.
We couldn't find her anywhere.
Grandma walked up and down the street looking for her.
The baby ducks followed.

Each turn grandma made, they followed with exactness.


Finally we decided to take them to the canal.
Grandma tossed the babies in.

They quickly climbed out and started following her again.

We gathered them up and tossed them into the water, again they scurried out to surround Grandma's feet.
Then Grandma had a good idea.
She would try to get them adopted by another duck family.

She spotted a mother and father duck and four babies swimming by.

I said a little prayer as she gently released them to the care of the new parents. Within moments the new family welcomed them into the fold. The adoptive mother didn't seem to mind that her responsibilities had just tripled.

Off they swam.
We took a deep breath and walked back to the car.
Our shoes were full of sludge but our hearts were full of thanks.

And so goes the life of of duck rescuers.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Curse of the Traveling Husband

+Things that have happened while Mark is out of town on business:

A Flat tire.
A dead battery.
Unexpected company from out of town.
The twins' 7th birthday.
The fridge broke.
The heater went out (in January).
Water in the basement.
Sick kids.
Sick me.
Christmas lights out.
The worst haircut of my life.
Having our beloved dog put to sleep.

Is it really that surprising that a mysterious crack appeared in the ceiling yesterday and water is leaking through it?

I think next time I'll just pack a bag and go with him.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

See Sam Chapter 3

See Sam.
See Sam eat.  
Sam likes to eat.
Eating is fun.

Sam loves to eat spaghetti and ice cream and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Sam even loves green eggs and ham.

Guess what else Sam loves to eat?
Apples!

Apples are healthy for kids.
Sam's mom is happy that Sam like apples.

"Appo!"  "Appo!"  Sam says to mom.

"Yes!" says mom.  
"Let me take a quick shower and then I will 
slice you some apples for a snack."

Sam claps.
Sam cheers.
Sam loves apples.

It is hard to wait for Mom.

Sam has an idea.
Sam pulls out a chair and climbs onto the table.
Sam finds a juicy, red apple.

Sam takes a bite.
"Mmmmm" says Sam.

Sam finds another apple.
Sam takes another bite.

By the time mom gets out of the shower, all the apples have bites in them from Sam's little teeth.

"Oh Sam", mom sighs.

What will mom do with all these apples now?

Who wants to eat apples with little bite marks in them?


Suddenly mom has a good idea.
Mom is smart.

Mom slices the apples.
Mom drizzles carmel over the apples to hide Sam's little bite marks.
Mom waits for Sam's big brother and sister to
come home from school.

Then Sam's mom serves them a tasty snack.


Happy Sam.
Happy Mom.
Happy brother and sister.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?

Remember that silly game show, "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?"
When I heard about it a couple of years ago I rolled my eyes at such a ridiculous concept.

Really?  I said to myself.
What adult is not smarter than a 5th grader?

Having lived with two 5th graders this school year, I will share five fast ways to know
 if you are indeed  smarter than a 5th grader:

1.  While volunteering in a 5th grade math class, the teacher asks you to do the thirty or so math problems on the board and write your own answers to use as a key.  You glance at the problems that include fractions and solving for "x" and "y".  Panic hits, the feeling of a steel trap gripping your throat sets in.  You try.  You fail.  You wonder if it would be cheating to look on your son or daughter's paper.  You briefly consider pulling the fire alarm to get you out of this mess.  Finally, the teacher asks if you need help.  You admit that you have no idea how to do these equations.  The teacher chuckles and winks and tells 
you that your own children could have completed  the assignment in about ten minutes.   

2. You are no longer able to help your children with their piano pieces.  Instead, they help you with yours.

3.  You and your husband attend "Maturation"  with your 5th graders.  You have the bright idea of going with your son and sending your daughter with her dad.  This seems like a reasonable idea.  After all, you already know everything about being a girl and not so much about being a boy.  Your jaw drops during one particular part of the discussion.  You had no idea, absolutely no idea.

4.  Your 5th graders destroy you in a game of Scrabble.

5.  They give you lessons in how to operate your ipod, cell phone and navigation system in the car.

5.  On a blank map of the United States you fill it in incorrectly, they get all states and their capitals correct.

So the question is....
Are you smarter than a 5th grader?

Deep breath,  slight groan...
Apparently, I'm not.

I have a feeling that it's just downhill from here.




Sunday, May 3, 2009

Sorry Girls

The other night, this lovely handmade card appeared on our doorstep:

Inside was a very sweet love note.
Hmmmm, interesting.

Yesterday, I was sweeping when the doorbell rang.
This was sitting on the porch:

It was marked For Lincoln- Confidential.
Unfortunately, when Lincoln called the number to find out the true identity of powderpuff 1993, it was a hospital answering service.
Hmmmm, interesting-er.

In the past week, two different girls from school have called Lincoln on the phone.
Hmmmm, not too sure about that one.

Tonight I was reading when Linc came in.
"Mom, close your eyes,  I have a surprise for you", he grinned.

I opened my eyes to this sweet sight:

Sorry girls, this kid is taken.
.....At least for the next fifteen or so years.