Thanks Grandma

This week has been a special and tender time at our house. Over the past eight months or so we have become very close to Mark's grandmother, Grandma Sanders.

Last fall, she was no longer able to care for herself so she moved to an assisted living center just down the road from us.

With Mark's parents serving a mission in Africa, I'm ashamed to admit that initially I felt obligated to visit Grandma in their place. I feel bad that I lacked the humility and maturity to understand the true measure of her goodness and the life lessons she was ready to teach me.

A few visits was all it took to change obligation to privilege. My reasons for visiting became personal, almost selfish. There was so much to learn from her, so much to gain.

There were times when the whole family went to visit. Those were great, but my favorite moments seemed to come when it was just Grandma and me. I marveled at her.

She never stopped working, she never stopped serving.

When residents at the home would gather for meals, Grandma would often wait for them to finish and then she would clear and wipe down the tables. The staff told her she didn't have to clean but she insisted. The will to work was just in her.

Other times I would arrive to find her sweetly pushing someone's wheelchair. She would smile and wave hello to people as they passed.

We talked, we laughed, sometimes we cried. But I always felt that I had gained something from time spent with her.

In mid July, things started to change and Grandma's health declined. Her words became more slurred and jumbled. She became increasingly confused and unsteady on her feet. She no longer seemed to recognize anyone.

Last Tuesday I went to see her. She was asleep in a chair and I couldn't wake her. I came back a few hours later and she was still sleeping. I finally woke her up but I could tell in her eyes that something was wrong. When she would not eat lunch or take her medication, I became worried. I called Mark's sister Christie to come over and then I knelt down on the floor next to Grandma and wept.

Tears trickled down my cheeks as I begged her to eat. Gently Grandma touched my cheek and in a rare moment of perfect clarity she said tenderly, "You are my sweetheart". That was the last coherent thing I heard her say.

By Friday we accepted the fact that Grandma was dying. Marilyn agonized over the decision to leave Africa. After much prayer, she decided that Grandma would want her to finish her work in the Congo. We could see the heartache in her eyes as we talked to her via webcam.

Mark and I prayed for strength and inspiration to know how we could help. The answer came simply that we should ask permission to bring Grandma to our home. Mark's Uncle Kevin has lovingly been by Grandma's side continually throughout this past year. He graciously accepted our offer and on Sunday morning hospice transported Grandma to our home.

We had a computer in her room. Mark's parents were able to see her and speak to her over the internet. Although she was sleeping, I know she could hear their voices and feel their love.

Grandma had two days of constant visitors. Her Sons Kevin and Steven rarely left her. Grandchildren streamed in by the dozens. Friends and other relatives filled our house and with them came a feeling of deep love and peace.

I watched Mark's twin sisters Carrie and Christie hold Grandma's hands through the night, they looked like ministering angels. Our brother Nate refused to sleep so that he could stay by Grandma's side. Our sister, Tiffany brought her violin and played beautiful hymns for her. Mark and his siblings gathered around Grandma and talked about childhood memories and lessons they had learned from her life.

There was such a beautiful feeling in our house. One of my neighbors who stopped by to check on us said she felt a special feeling as she walked up to the door.

Monday night Christie, Tiffany and me were up late sitting with Grandma. Marilyn called on the computer. She told us that she had a feeling that she should stay home from her meetings. She asked us to keep her on the line.

One by one Tiffany, Christie, Mark and I all went to bed.

In the quiet hours of early morning it was just Nate and Grandma with Marilyn connected via skype. Around 3:00 am Grandma peacefully passed away. Through the tender mercies of a loving Father in Heaven, prayers were answered as Marilyn was right there to see her mother out of this world and in to the next life.

I am so grateful for this experience. I am the one who benefited. Lincoln and Rachel have had life lessons imprinted in their hearts. Mark and I have been witnesses to a series of small miracles. We have felt the love of Jesus Christ surrounding us.

I know that I will see Grandma again, and in the heavenly scheme of things we will both be young. I have a feeling that we will be great friends. When that day comes, I will have the chance to thank her for enriching my life and giving me the opportunity to grow.

Thanks Grandma